# When Chuck Norris calls 1-900 numbers, he doesnt get charged. He holds up the phone and money falls out.
# Chuck Norris once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it.
# Some people like to eat frogs' legs. Chuck Norris likes to eat lizard legs. Hence, snakes.
# There are no races, only countries of people Chuck Norris has beaten to different shades of black and blue.
# When Chuck Norris was denied an Egg McMuffin at McDonald's because it was 10:35, he roundhouse kicked the store so hard it became a Wendy's.
# Chuck Norris can't finish a "color by numbers" because his markers are filled with the blood of his victims. Unfortunately, all blood is dark red.
# A Chuck Norris-delivered Roundhouse Kick is the preferred method of execution in 16 states.
# When Chuck Norris falls in water, Chuck Norris doesn't get wet. Water gets Chuck Norris.
# Scientists have estimated that the energy given off during the Big Bang is roughly equal to 1CNRhK (Chuck Norris Roundhouse Kick)

SOme of those are funny.

I love Chuck Norris jokes. These are really nice. Did you write them? If so please write more.

Chuck Norris came in second in a beauty and grace pagent. Every one else came in first.

When Chuck Norris falls in water, Chuck Norris doesn't get wet. Water gets Chuck Norris.

LOL this is funny. Only if that happened to us.

Chuck Norris can roll a 7 on a 6-sided die.

There is no such thing as a tornado-only Chuck Norris, proving that ballet aint that hard.

Never, ever name a hurricane 'Chuck Norris'.

Only Chuck Norris dares to admit that he took the cookie from the cookie jar.

Chuck Norris really died 20 years ago-death simply hasn't built up the courage to tell him yet.

When Clark Kent goes into a phonebooth, Superman comes out. When Chuck Norris goes into a phone booth, it explodes and Chuck walks away.

Chuck Norris tells time. Time listens.

Chuck Norris clapped. Scientists then concluded that the world was flat.

Chuck Norris once killed a man 3 hours before the fight broke out.

Chuck Norris is the reason why there's only one airbender left.

When Google has a question.... It ChuckNorriss it.

Chuck Norris once slit his wrists and the knife died.

Chuck Norris can make an atheist believe.

Some boots were made for walking. Some boots may walk all over you, but Chuck Norris' boot walk THROUGH you.

The Sentence: "Another one bites the dust" can be read 15000 times in Chuck's journal.

Chuck Norris looks better than his reflection.

If you had 5 dollars and Chuck Norris had 5 dollars, Chuck would have more money than you.

Death once had a near-Chuck Norris experience.

Chuck Norris and Superman once fought each other on a bet. The loser had to start wearing his underwear on the outside of his pants.

Chuck Norris can light a fire by rubbing two ice cubes together.

Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack. His heart isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him.

Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin. Its decendants are known today as Giraffes.

Chuck Norris can drown a fish.

Chuck Norris can stand at the bottom of a bottomless pit.

Chuck Norris put out a forest fire using only gasoline.

Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because Chuck Norris only recognizes the element of surprise.

Chuck Norris doesent need a twitter, He's already following you.

Chuck Norris's e-mail adress is Yahoo@ChuckNorris.com

911 calls Chuck Norris for emergency.

Chuck Norris made a Happy Meal cry.

Chuck Norris once stared at the sun for 7 hours... the sun then blinked.

Chuck Norris can do a wheelie on a unicycle.

Stars wish upon Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris once killed a bear with an imaginary knife.

In an attempt to end WWII, President Harry Truman had Chuck Norris parachuted into Hiroshima and Nagasaki. Sept. 2, 1945, the Japanese surrendered.

...I have a word document full of these..... ._.

Fall in water and fall in love almost same in this
truly interesting and amazing it is


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Norris is a devout Christian and politically conservative. He has written several books on Christianity and donated to a number of Republican candidates and causes. In 2007 and 2008, he campaigned for former Arkansas Governor Mike Huckabee, who was running for the Republican nomination for President in 2008. Norris also writes a column for the conservative website WorldNetDaily


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haha these r so funny plz post more

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what a great work done it is



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